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Online Counseling for Miscarriage

Phi Atratus
  • Mar 17, 2022
  • 5 min read
Couple suffering from loss

Losing a child changes you in unknown ways. It is undoubtedly one of the most traumatic experiences you can go through. It is heartbreaking to see how most of us fail to realize the depths of the pain, grief, and loss our partners experience. Most of us don’t know what to say when a miscarriage happens. Society fails to look beyond the physical pain and neglects the harm it does to your mental health with a shrug. 

A miscarriage is when a baby dies in the womb before the 20th week of pregnancy. Similarly, repeat miscarriages (recurrent pregnancy loss) are when a woman has experienced two or more miscarriages in a row. So, is miscarriage an important subject to discuss? Undoubtedly, yes.

There are several reasons behind a miscarriage. Some are beyond your control, whereas others are pre-existing medical conditions that might lead to miscarriage. The causes include: 

  • Genetic problems
  • Health conditions such as uncontrolled diabetes, thyroid, infections, and hormonal problems (like polycystic ovary syndrome)
  • Risk factors like smoking, alcohol, drug abuse, being underweight or overweight, age, and uterine problems

The symptoms of a miscarriage are:

  • Heavy spotting 
  • Vaginal bleeding 
  • Tissue or fluid discharge from the vagina 
  • Severe pain or cramps in the abdomen
  • Pain in the lower back
  • Excessive fatigue, nausea, or vomiting

Roughly 10–15% of pregnancies (of women aware that they are pregnant) end in miscarriage. The majority of miscarriages occur before the 12th week of pregnancy in the first trimester, and chances of a miscarriage decrease as weeks go by. Furthermore, miscarriage occurs in 1 to 5 of every 100 (1–5%) pregnancies in the second trimester (between the 13th and 19th week). And approximately 1 in 100 women experiences recurrent pregnancy loss.

If you are a part of these statistics and are looking to deal with a miscarriage effectively, continue reading further. 

Undoubtedly, losing a baby puts you at risk both mentally and physically. Physically, you may develop an infection (also known as septic miscarriage), and mentally, you may experience anguish, desperation, shame, and inadequacy. 

Fortunately, this is 2022, and the taboo around counseling after miscarriage is reducing. As partners or individuals, you can choose to seek immediate support and learn to cope via online counseling.

Do I Need Counseling After a Miscarriage?

As parents, especially pregnant women, you feel a strong attachment towards your baby. You often visualize life after delivery and all the beautiful things you would do for your child. A pregnancy loss changes everything. Unlike any other loss, miscarriages only leave you with your imagination, often resulting in an emotional turmoil inside you that goes unnoticed.

This emotional turmoil manifests itself in different forms, such as depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder. These can have a lasting influence on your subsequent pregnancy, interpersonal relationships, and yourself.

Findings suggest that almost 20% of women who have a miscarriage develop depression and/or anxiety symptoms. Most of those affected exhibit symptoms for 1 to 3 years, affecting their well-being and successive pregnancies.

It can trick you into believing that you are not good enough, have let everyone down, or that something is wrong with you. Furthermore, it can cause you to overthink and wonder if you can become a parent again or what could have been done to prevent it. You may not enjoy stepping out to meet family and friends because the sight of kids or other pregnant women reminds you of your loss. As a result, you experience flashbacks or feel that nobody understands you, resulting in a mental health issue. 

You may also experience nightmares, wake up feeling tired, find it difficult to sleep, experience intrusive thoughts, or think of harming yourself to conceal the pain. Thoughts of self-harm or committing suicide, panic attacks, and increased anxiety are calls for help, and you should not ignore them. You can address these issues by opting for miscarriage counseling online. 

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How Can Miscarriage Therapy Help?

Different counseling techniques for miscarriage address issues differently. Though all of them have a unique way to help you cope, they all share one goal – to solve the roots of the problem and help you gain more control of yourself. When you are going through a traumatic phase, sometimes all you need is someone to listen and create a safe environment. Therapeutic relationships aim to create a safe and comfortable environment, allowing you to open up when you’re vulnerable and overwhelmed with what happened, even in online counseling.

The following are a few counseling techniques for miscarriage that can help you deal with it effectively: 

Storytelling and narrative therapy

Active listening and empathy are two of the most significant things a therapist can offer a client. Listening to their story is critical because every single one of them is unique.

Your therapist may invite you to discuss your loss experience. This may include where you were and your emotions when you found out you were pregnant, the pregnancy experience, what happened during your miscarriage, how you felt, etc. 

The idea behind this particular miscarriage therapy technique is as follows: remembering, talking, and processing these things with other people can be therapeutic, especially if you feel that no one acknowledged your loss or did not have the chance to talk about it with someone. It demonstrates the importance of self-expression and validation.

Journaling and writing

Miscarriage therapy techniques like journaling and writing allow you to express your emotions and thoughts. In the process, you not only acknowledge what you feel but encourage yourself to explore your feelings. It provides you with an outlet to address your lost child. This is a great option for those who aren't comfortable talking about the incident.

Empty chair approach

This technique can be impactful in processing unfinished business, prevalent in miscarriage victims. Your counselor may ask you to speak to an empty chair as though your miscarried child was sitting there. Alternatively, use the empty chair to talk to whoever you need to, such as a coworker who made an insensitive remark or a doctor, to express anger or other emotions. This can provide some closure by assisting you in working through complicated feelings.

Miscarriage grief counseling

Miscarriage grief counseling involves grieving the hopes from this pregnancy, your role as a parent, the idea of parenthood itself, and the personal wishes held within for this child, among other personal losses. Creating a grief ritual also allows you and your partner or family to acknowledge the loss. Recognizing this loss is an essential step in grieving. This ritual can help you move from simply surviving to existing with the loss.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

As a miscarriage therapy, the cognitive restructuring component of CBT can assist you in identifying and rephrasing dysfunctional thoughts. A few examples can be the fear that you'll never be able to have children or the belief that the loss was the outcome of something you did wrong. 

Mindfulness practice can assist you in sitting with your feelings about the loss, enabling those feelings to lose their power. Therapists can also help you in identifying and participating in enjoyable activities that bring you a sense of meaning through the process of behavioral activation. These activities can provide positive reinforcement and aid in treating depressed moods. 

CBT can also be used for recurrent miscarriage counseling to restructure negative thoughts about conceiving and infertility.

What About Miscarriage Counseling Online?

The practice of online therapy is becoming more prevalent, and one cannot overlook the benefits it offers. Some of these advantages are:

1. Immediate help

In contrast to in-person therapy, online therapy incorporates an easier way to get the help you need. You can search for therapists online, check their credentials, and book a session right away at the earliest possible moment and at affordable prices. 

2. Accessible 24/7

Many platforms that offer online counseling also allow you to connect with your therapist over texts. This means that you do not have to wait for your next online counseling session to address pressing issues.

3. Comfortable and convenient

Since online counseling sessions only require an internet connection and a device, you can attend your sessions from any place you feel comfortable in. Furthermore, you can choose the timing yourself to match your schedule.


Online miscarriage counseling can help you overcome your overwhelming and disturbing emotions, helping you cope better and make progress in life. Although the loss is irreparable, you can learn to live with it, and a therapist can help you with it. 

We at DoMental abide by confidentiality and seek to create the safest environment for you to express yourself openly, even in our online counseling session. Our mental health professionals understand that the emotions that follow a miscarriage are personal and unique. They will develop an online counseling plan that suits you the best. With DoMental, receiving support is easy, affordable, and flexible.

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